It's that time of the month, folks, and I am gonna /talk about it/.


At least a little.

Ventventventventityvent.

WOULD ANYONE CARE FOR A UTERUS?

Seriously.

There has got to be SOME poor schmuck of a chick whose uterus is fucked up somehow in that it won't let her maek babehz. SHE CAN HAVE MINE BECAUSE IT'S APPARENTLY IN WORKING ORDER AND I'M NOT GONNA USE IT.

Fuck. Seriously. If I had the funds, HYSTERECTOMY /SO FAST/. I don't want it. I don't need it. GET IT OUT.

I want my ovaries. I want my hormones. I would rather not hit instantaneous menopause at less-than-twenty. I am actually okay with being an emotional wreck on a monthly basis. I am okay with the mood swings and the crankiness and the weird cravings and WHATEVER ELSE those damn hormone bastards do (like locking my mind on sex fifteen hours a day).

But I am so sick of fucking bleeding from my crotch that I could strangle a fancy rat.

Pads are disgusting. I have yet to find a brand of tampon that doesn't leak after two hours (THE PACKAGE SAYS FOUR, YOU LYING BASTARDS) for the first two days. I would like to get myself a menstrual cup, but I don't want to spend the however-ridiculously-much it costs only to find that it doesn't fit my body type.

I hate worrying about when I'm going to start. I hate worrying about the mess. I hate the fact that about two times in five I start right after a fucking shower. I hate how /fucking expensive/ tampons are. I hate that half the time I get caught without a tampon. I HATE Tampax for changing the shape of their cardboard tampons so that now they are LESS efficient than once they were. What the FUCK is that.

Bleeding bleeding bleeding I AM SICK OF BLEEDING.

I don't want chemicals; I don't need to OH GO ON THAT PILL THAT GIVES YOU A THREE-DAY PERIOD 8D because I am a virgin and do not need the goddamn pill and also RISK OF STROKE no thanks with my health and stress levels ah ha ha hello run-on sentences I DO NOT /WANT/ A THREE-DAY PERIOD; ///I DO NOT WANT A FUCKING PERIOD///. /PERIOD/.

You know, I'm never going to have children. Ever. I don't want the /risk/ of /becoming/ pregnant.

A quick and small guarantee: if ever I get pregnant, it's getting aborted the second I know about it, and if abortion is illegal by then, WIRE HANGER.

I absolutely refuse to carry a watermelon in my gut for nine months, and I FURTHER refuse to support a fucking leech for eighteen years. Sorry, Charlie, ain't happening.

So, if I am never, ever, ever going to have children...

WHY DO I NEED THE FUCKING UTERUS?

FUCK.

Seriously, guys; does anybody know, like... clinics and prices for this shit? I don't fucking want to deal with this. Ever again. I am so sick of bleeding, I am sick sick sick sick SICK of it. I don't want kids, so I don't want to dump a cup of could-have-been-a-baby! out of my crotch monthly for the rest of my life.

This is not the first time I have considered this, let me tell you. I've had this in my head since high school. Well, I've had it in my head since MIDDLE school, but I kindasorta wanted kids back then possibly maybe one day in the future. Now I am just like No. And it's been that way for... fuck, almost three years. And every month, I go GRR, I Do Not Want To Deal With This Shit.

If anyone comes at me with the What If You Want a Baby In the Future shtick, I will slap you with a fish. I will not. Ever. And if by some MIRACLE (curse/head trauma) I change my mind, well, that is what OTHER people have wombs for. Surrogate, anyone? 8D And even then, probably still no. If I ever want kids, I'll adopt. The world doesn't need more kids; it needs more parents.

Is there anyone who can help me out with the legality of this? I was told once that you can't get your uterus removed unless (1) you're proven legally insane and therefore an unfit mother (I would be almost willing to go with this one), (2) you've had __ kids already, or (3) you've reached __ age; and I don't know how true any of that is. (All of this barring medical reasons that it would be removed, of course.) I don't see how they can legally regulate that--it's my goddamn body and I'll do with it what I want, you know? Fuck, I will travel to a country where elective hysterectomy IS legal if need be. I just fucking want it OUT.

Fuck hell. Not what you were expecting in a that-time-of-the-month journal, ne? 8D

Seriously guys. I've thought about this long and hard. I hate babies. I hate small children. I hate preteens more than anything ever, and you know I can skip all that and fucking adopt a teenager. Please don't make attempts to talk me out of this. But if you know some way to help me out, I will fucking love you forever.

...Yeah.


An edit:

Hearing from minorarcana and reading up on hysterectomies myself on Wiki, it seems like a full hysterectomy might not be the most awesome idea ever.

However!

There is something interesting which I discovered in my research.

Menorrhagia.

Menorrhagia is an abnormally heavy and prolonged menstrual period at regular intervals. Causes may be due to abnormal blood clotting, disruption of normal hormonal regulation of periods or disorders of the endometrial lining of the uterus. Depending upon the cause, it may be associated with abnormally painful periods (dysmenorrhea).

A normal menstrual cycle is 21-35 days in duration, with bleeding lasting an average of 5 days and total blood flow between 25 and 80 mL. A blood loss of greater than 80 ml or lasting longer than 7 days constitutes menorrhagia (also called hypermenorrhea). In practice this is not usually directly measured by patients or doctors. Menorrhagia also occurs at predictable and normal (usually about 28 days) intervals, distinguishing it from menometrorrhagia, which occurs at irregular and more frequent intervals. It is possible to estimate the amount of bleeding by the number of tampons or pads a woman uses during her period. As a guide a regular tampon fully soaked will hold about 5ml of blood.

-

Aside from the social distress of dealing with a prolonged and heavy period, over time the blood loss may prove to be greater than the body iron reserves or the rate of blood replenishment, leading to anemia. Symptoms attributable to the anemia may include tiredness, weakness, tingling and numbness in fingers and toes, headaches, depression, becoming cold more easily, and poor concentration.

Raise your hand if you've been experiencing three or more of the symptoms in emphasis?

Keep it raised if you've been experiencing ALL of them?

My hand is still up. :|

Also, doing a quick bit of math in my head, I think it is very fucking likely that I am bleeding way more than 80mL with each period. I've always had long periods (I once had one that lasted two weeks), and I've always, always had ridiculously heavy periods. Mom has asked me on several occasions if I've been unusually heavy, or didn't I just buy supplies to deal with the problem. My periods have only gotten heavier in the past couple years.

I think I need to talk to my doctor. Without Mom there. I still Do Not Want to bleed, thanks, and bleeding as heavily as I do only makes it worse. I'm more considering now an endometrial ablation, which basically entails burning the lining of the uterus to keep it from bleeding anymore. Sounds nasty, but when properly performed, it only destroys the lining without actually burning the organ.

I am going to heavily consider this. All of those symptoms? Yeah they're not kosher. And if I can fix them AND potentially eliminate my period altogether, then halle-fuckin'-lujah. Unlike getting GUTTED LIKE A FISH 8D, an endometrial ablation is not contraceptive, so, uh. Condoms! No big deal. Not like I'm little miss promiscuity; I am still lacking in the First Kiss department. Lawl.

Thanks for the input, Julie. <3 I think this will sound a little less crazy to my doctors (and parents!) than cut-me-open-and-rip-out-my-baby-making-bits.

Tags: endometrial ablation, female, hysterectomy, menorrhagia, menstrual cycle, pissy, pms, rant
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